IT'S TIME TO BRING THE
HEALTHY MASCULINE
BACK INTO FATHERING
Become the
Fiercely Loving Father
your Son needs to become a Man
You are a Good Dad,
not an authoritarian asshole
Dads of old frequently felt obligated to chisel the “tabula rasa” of their son into a mold of what a man was supposed to be. They didn’t have room to care about how the boy was actually built. They had less space to consider his feelings and passions and needs. Society needed “tough men” and so authoritarian dads took to their task with harshness.
Life became less harsh and we became Good Dads. Our parenting became more “enlightened.” Now we spend more time with our kids. We play more. We get down on their level and listen to their ideas and respect their wishes. We follow their lead. We make sure they are safe and really work hard to make them happy.
But Sons of Good Dads
are showing signs of stress
In our myopia towards psychological safety and happiness, we have unwittingly created a new set of problems.
Does your son
Have trouble in the classroom, require frequent teacher meetings
Have problems with attention, ADHD, or various conduct disorders
Still need help getting ready for school beyond the age of 7
Still have violent outbursts beyond the toddler years
Take over the house with his emotionality
Not get invited to many sleepovers or playdates
Act disrespectfully and rude to you or your partner
Not listen to your guidance or boundaries
Not open to deep intimacy with you, feel distant
Seem fragile and lack resilience in the face of adversity
Emotionally manipulate his mother
As a result, we Good Dads often find ourselves
Frustrated and angry
Yelling at our kids, or even being physically rough
Feeling pushed around by our partners
Wondering what our role in the family is beyond providing income
Turning away from our families and hiding out in our man-caves
Frequently checking out on our phones or online
Feeling judged at the park when we try to set clear boundaries
Not quite comfortable expressing our masculinity
Lacking in passion and a sexually vibrant partnership
Lacking focus and energy toward our Life’s Purpose
This is not the Fathering experience we imagined
“What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive. And love without power is sentimental and anemic.”
MLK jr
Now imagine that your son really looked up to you and respected you.
Imagine he is so deeply connected to you that he imitates you by stepping up and taking responsibility for his life. He helps clean the house every week. He gets dressed, packs his backpack, and makes his own lunch every morning without being asked. He enjoys school, and his teachers and classmates enjoy him. After school, he finishes his homework before even asking to play video games. He respects your privacy and honors your boundaries. And all the while, you have a ton of fun together. You cuddle and wrestle. You enjoy challenging and razzing each other in games. You do warrior-exercises side by side. You are stoked to become better men together.
And your partner trusts you deeply. She appreciates you. She welcomes and invites your masculine leadership. This trust evokes even more vitality, presence, and service (not to mention igniting your passion for one another). And around and around it goes in an auspicious upward spiral.
What holds Good Dads back from becoming a Fiercely Loving Father ?
If you are a Good Dad, there are two main challenges to liberating the next phase of your growth.
Discovering and embodying your masculine essence
Awakening to the myths of “enlightened parenting”
You must rediscover your
Masculine Essence
and
Embody It
To become a Good Dad, you had to do some work on yourself and grow into a greater degree of wholeness. You have had to grow beyond your more selfish childish parts and begin to consider – and provide for – the needs of others. You have looked deeply into your soul and reintegrated shadow parts that were previously wreaking havoc on your life. And you have at least started to reclaim some of your inner feminine nature – what Carl Jung called the Anima.
Awesome.
Now it is time for the next step.
Most of us have found ways to keep our masculine parts in the shadow. Our cultural has failed to teach us that our masculinity is valuable. But I promise you: your son needs your masculine gifts. The world needs your masculine gifts. And if you have a Masculine Essence, you will not be fulfilled unless you realign with your true nature and embody it.
You must get clear on how
Enlightened Parenting
has diminished your offering
The positive aspects of “Enlightened Parenting” are numerous. It has taught us to be more sensitive to the needs of our children. It has taught us that difficult experiences can live in the nervous system as “traumas” if they are not digested properly. Enlightened Parenting makes room for all the different forms and flavors that children come in; it respects individuality and uniqueness. When in this mode, we relate to our son on the same level, prioritize a kinder, more gentle approach to parenting, and focus on his happiness. We strive to preserve his innocence for as long as possible.
But Enlightened Parenting makes 4 fundamental mistakes:
Safetyism
Today, too many kids are overly sheltered and coddled in a culture of safetyism. This leaves them feeling fragile and less ready for the real world where other people will not always treat them with kid-gloves.
Specialness
An excessive focus on praise and self-esteem building is making our kids less resilient. This focus on image preservation rather than self as a process is stoking anxiety and behavioral problems.
Authority-phobic
Children require healthy attachment in order to thrive and grow into their full potential. But healthy attachment is hierarchical; it is the way a loving authority serves a child with protection, care, and guidance. Kids suffer when we abdicate our responsibility and fail to serve them with our wisdom.
Anti-masculine
Children do best when they receive both feminine and masculine forms of nourishment. Feminine love says, “You are perfect exactly as you are.” And masculine love says, “And you have a long way to go. Let me help you.” The shadow side of Enlightened Parenting has elevated the feminine and pushed out the masculine. As a result, our boys have more problems with impulse control, emotional intelligence, and self-discipline.
“It takes a mother to raise a boy.
But it takes a father to raise a Man.”
Greg Ellis
There is a
Fiercely Loving Father
emerging within you
A Fiercely Loving Father
Protects and Provides… so loved ones may Rest
Lives Simply… to make room for Depth
Rests in Presence… so Presence is invited in others
Emanates Potency… to encourage his son to be Powerful
Holds Compassionately… so Vulnerability can transform
Lives Courageously… to inspire his son to take chances
Speaks Sincerely… so the Truth can be heard
Holds Complexity… so the Emergent can be born
Embodies Wisdom… to express Faith in the Mystery
Lives in Service… as a path to Fulfillment
A Fiercely Loving Father enjoys deep connection with his kids and partner. He loves wrestling and being playful. He models and supports staying with vulnerable feelings and expressing tenderness. A Fiercely Loving Father skillfully organizes family life to support flow. He naturally embodies – and helps his son embody – the masculine archetypes. He lets the great mythic stories of Star Wars and Marvel educate, inspire, and help to illuminate the dark and light sides we each contain within us. He brings his vitality and passion to his Goddess, keeping a fire burning at the center of their home. And he models the power of living on purpose and serving the world with his gifts.
“Chris is a remarkable guy and if you get a chance to work with him, you and your family will benefit greatly."
Todd Sarner MFT
I am Chris White MD
I am a pediatrician, parent coach, and father of two boys. I have studied human development from many angles: my pediatric and holistic ADHD practice, a certified Integral Life Coach from New Ventures West, and three decades of meditation, inquiry, and somatic training. I have participated in and led Men’s groups for over 20 years. I have a long history of stoking the masculine flame.
I first articulated my vision for an integrated masculine and feminine parenting in the book
Mindful Discipline: A Loving Approach to Setting Limits and Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child.
“...a masterful guide for parents.”
Andrew Weil MD
“I love this book. I wish it were packaged with every pregnancy test.”
Dean Ornish MD
Now I am ready to take parenting to the next level: It's time to bring the healthy masculine back into fathering.
My gifts are my presence, my heart, and my clarity. I delight in each unique story, and love guiding men through this rite of passage called “fatherhood.”
You will be deeply touched by our time together.
“Seeing him with his sons inspires me to be a better father. I send every parent I know to his work.”
Shereef Bishay
Together we grow from Good Dads to
Fiercely Loving Fathers.
“The time my wife and I spent with Chris was the single most valuable hour yet.”
Amiel Handelsman, host of The Amiel Show and Executive Coach
If you give me
12 weeks of your time,
I’ll put you on a track to becoming the
Fiercely Loving Father
your son deserves
Do it for him.
Your son needs your masculine nourishment in order to grow into a Man. Reclaim your Essence. Offer it in service.
Do it for your relationship.
Many marriages are crashing and burning because men feel stuck and don’t know the way out. Dig deep. Unearth your fierceness. Rekindle your passion.
Do it for yourself.
Living from your deepest truth is fulfillment. Anything short and you will suffer. Find the truth in your belly. Live every moment with fierce love.
Do it for the world.
Our world needs strong, loving men now more than ever. Be the change you know we need.
“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.
Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills.
Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
Earl Shoa
What:
A Community of dads exploring
the next level of fathering
You will get:
Weekly Group Coaching Sessions - Live, interactive sessions with Dr. Chris White will help you address real-life fatherhood challenges and develop a repertoire of mature masculine responses.
1-on-1 Personalized Coaching - Six private coaching sessions with Chris that will help transform your personal kryptonite into your superpower.
Small, Intimate Pods - Connect with 6 like-minded fathers for honest discussions, shared insights, and lifelong connections.
Exclusive Audio & Video Content - Explore a library of lessons on fatherhood, masculinity, and child development, that provide clarity and direction to becoming the best father you can be.
Supportive Community - Join a private group of committed dads for support, challenge, accountability, and interactive learning.
Lifetime Access - Keep access to all course materials and the fatherhood community, ensuring your growth continues even after the program ends.
Where:
In the comfort of your home [On-line Zoom and Mighty Networks]
When:
Currently accepting applications for the next group
Who is it for:
Good Dads with sons who want to become Fiercely Loving Fathers.
Cost:
$3000
“There are many courses that say, 'try this.'
This is a course that says, 'live this.'
I am able to be a better parent by having become a better person.”
Stephen H. Sulmeyer, J.D., Ph.D.
FAQs
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No. The weekly on-line meetings will have 3-4 “hot-seat” spots each week, so you will have plenty of chances to get your unique challenges addressed should you have to miss. Plus all the meetings are recorded and uploaded to our Fiercely Loving Father library so you can review them at your leisure.
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As a pediatrician, I have watched parents pour enormous amounts of time, energy, and money into their children trying to get them help for their ADHD or conduct disorders, moving them around from school to school, or investing in tutors and therapists trying to get them back on track. In the vast majority of these cases, parents could have saved themselves tens of thousands of dollars if they had just known how to help their son organize his motivations and emotions properly and put him on track to becoming a Man. And this is not even including the down-the-road costs if he ends up in low-paying work and failing-to-launch like so many boys today.
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That's not going to happen. But if it does, I will give you 100% of your money back. I am completely confident this will be one of the most profound 3 months of your life. (And the smile on your son's face will be the proof.)
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The application will take you less than 10 minutes. It will help me make sure this program will benefit you and your family. Once I receive your application and review it, I will reach out so we can set up a call together and make sure this is a good fit for both of us before moving forward.
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Call me and let's talk. Set up our call using the link below. I look forward to connecting with you.
